Monday, December 22, 2008

Sahara Services

Dear Readers,

Steam was rising off the stones that pave the Djemaa as they warmed in the early morning sun. We cupped our hands and blew into them, regretting having not checked the weather to learn that Morocco is actually cold in the winter months. We watched the first of the vendors getting set up for the day, groggily rolling in their carts and wares. A few drivers were still sleeping in their petit taxis. It was a peaceful scene, a sharp contrast to the chaos that would surely envelop the market later in the day.

It was almost seven-thirty in the morning. We had agreed the night before with Mustafa that he would pick us up at seven-thirty, sharp. He repeated that he would not be even a few minutes late, assuring us that the company he worked for, Sahara Services, was very organized. Indeed, at 7:29 we saw Mustafa’s black-turbaned head inside the white Land Cruiser, zooming towards us at the designated meeting place where we stood with our backpacks leaning against our knees.

We had hired Sahara Services to take us to the desert, and our journey began by heading south from Marrakech that morning. Our final destination, two days drive away, was a place called Erg Chegaga. Erg Chegaga was at the edge of the dunes and close enough to the Algerian border that you could throw a camel turd across. True, this sub-adventure would consume a large part of our week in Morocco, but how often do you get the chance to get the sand of the world’s largest desert between your toes?* Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical. For your correspondent, this trip was a no-brainer.

With Mustafa behind the wheel, our Land Cruiser made quick time up the roads through the imposing High Atlas Mountains. Mustafa was most comfortable driving with très grande vitesse, whether on ice, pavement, sand, or snow. This rapid forward progress was punctuated only by the occasional "stop for photos” – which was code for his cigarette breaks. We didn’t mind. The scenery was rugged and beautiful and we were happily snapping pictures left and right.

The main obstacle between us and the desert was Tichka pass, the crossing of which required us to weave our way up a treacherous two-lane road of icy switchbacks. Mustafa explained that this road was often closed during these winter months, apparently with good reason. At one hairpin turn, a small crowd had gathered to rescue a truck which had slid off the road and rolled 30 feet to the riverbed below. That driver, assuming he survived, should consider himself lucky. Further up the road where the drop was well over 300 feet, we saw several sections of metal guard rail uprooted from their concrete bases, hanging in a limp dangle over the cliff and into the emptiness below. I wondered whether the Moroccan authorities had left those rails hanging intentionally as a grim warning to travelers. In either case, it seemed now like money very well spent to have paid to cross Tichka pass in a well-maintained 4x4 instead of a teetery public bus.

Safely past the mountains, we sped through the next several hundred kilometers of the Valley of Draa, an ever-changing landscape of red rock, cracked-dry river beds, and the occasional group of palm trees huddled around a water spring. We eventually reached a small town called M’Hamid, our last stop before Erg Chegaga, where the road we’d followed for two days came to an end. The road died a slow death, as pavement gave way to dirt, and dirt gave way to open sand. At that point we simply followed the winding tracks of the truck ahead of us. (We were now a caravan of three, having joined two other 4x4s along the way.) With the sun dropping in the distance, we bumped our way through sand and scrub brush. We were eager to reach the dunes for the sunset, which we saw as the dramatic climax to our exotic desert adventure. There was something poetic about seeing the sunset over the dunes that we did not want to miss. Mustafa put pedal to metal for those final miles, and we were detained only briefly to let a herd of free-roaming camels clear our path.**

Then at long last, we arrived. In front of us, the sand swooped upwards into massive, golden waves. Words will not do justice to the sight of these enormous dunes glowing in the late-afternoon light. We had arrived at the perfect moment to watch the sun set behind them, but instinctively we knew it was not enough just to sit and watch. Somehow we needed to participate. We kicked off our shoes and sprinted up to the nearest peak. Then the next peak, and the next. Panting now, we plopped our butts in the sand and watched the sun as it melted off along the horizon.

After our dune-quest we descended back to Erg Chegaga, which consisted of a dozen mud huts arranged in a horseshoe shape at the foot of the dunes. One was a communal dining tent covered in overlapping carpets, one was marked “la cuisine” from which the familiar smell of tagine was wafting, and the rest were bedrooms. While this might sound like roughing it, these bedrooms were surprisingly comfy. Each had an oil lamp, a double bed piled high with wool blankets, and a small carpet covering the sand floor. In a real pinch, you could peel back the carpet and save yourself a chilly trip to the distant tent marked “la toilette.”

We spend the latter part of the evening huddled around a fire with Mustafa, a few European tourists, and the “camp staff” – a handful of middle-aged men dressed in the full length cloaks we had seen in Marrakech (they looked exactly like the sand people in Star Wars). Once the fire was raging properly to push back the desert chill, our hosts picked up a congo-like drum and began beating out a rhythm. They sang, back and forth in a call-and-response style. Of course we had no idea what they were saying, or even which language they were singing in. It didn’t matter. We were a million miles from anything, and we were just happy to clap along and watch the occasional glowing ember float upwards towards the dark and stars above…

Atentamente,
Your correspondent

* Technically, the Sahara is the world’s second-largest desert, behind Antarctica. It is the world’s largest hot desert.

** Technically, these were one-humped dromedaries and not two-humped camels.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Marrakech

Dear Readers,

We hunched forward towards the blurry hotel computer screen in disbelief to see the following:

MAD RAK 14.12.08
RAK MAD 21.12.08
US$ 50.00 +TAX&FEES

This, dear readers, seemed to both of us to be nothing short of a sign directly from the travel deities. These cryptic characters represented an extraordinary (and extraordinarily cheap) chance to add some bold new spice to our Spanish journey-in-progress – specifically, a chance to fly round-trip from Madrid to Morocco for nary more than a DC cabbie would charge from Capitol Hill to Adams Morgan. Lou and I leaned back from the monitor and exchanged a silent look. Forty-eight hours later, we exited a beige “petit taxi” from the airport into the Djemaa El-Fna, the open plaza which is the beating heart of the Marrakech old city.

The Djemaa, which serves as Marrakech’s multipurpose marketplace, restaurant, and theatre, is truly a feast for the senses. Allow me to offer some examples. For the stomach, the Djemaa offers elaborately stacked piles of chewy dates and figs, roasted nuts, exotic spices, fresh-squeezed orange juice, and numerous other treats. Wait until dusk and dozens of portable food stations roll in to serve everything from fried seafood to Moroccan sausage to cow brains. For entertainment, monkeys on leashes will do back flips or jump on your head for a few coins. Live cobras wriggle freely on woven mats while their handlers play exotic melodies on their flutes. Unshaven storytellers in full length robes attract crowds with their tales (in Arabic unfortunately but engaging nonetheless). When all this activity becomes overwhelming, as it inevitably does, you can choose from any number of pleasant terraces overlooking the plaza to enjoy both a mint tea and the view of the snow-capped High Atlas peaks in the distance.

If the Djemaa is the heart of the old medina, then the mesh of streets and alleys fanning out from it in all directions serve as the veins and arteries. We stepped out of the plaza and into this maze, which felt like taking a step back in time a few centuries, if not a few millennia. You seem to enter a lost world of sultans and sabers in those narrow streets, walking past veiled women and men in hooded cloaks, past donkeys pulling wooden carts loaded with animal hides, past store shelves lined with rusted spice bins and silver-handled daggers . The occasional unsavory figure lurking under the shadow of a low stone archway looks like the type to get you the things not sold on the store shelves. The hustle and bustle of conversations, negotiations, and confrontations is then washed over as the overpowering call to prayer floods the streets from the amplified speakers of a nearby mosque, echoing off the pink plaster walls.

Then suddenly, modernity slaps you across the face. Honda scooters weave recklessly through the alley full of pedestrians, belching black smoke. Reggaeton, of all things, blares from a nearby radio. The corner stores sell Coke and Snickers with Arabic labels and the donkey carts roll past signs for internet cafés. You realize that you have not, in fact, time-warped back to some lost desert empire but are very much in the 21st century.

Young men wearing knock-off designer clothes, flashy leather jackets, and liberal applications of hair gel will then approach you in no less than half a dozen languages offering to “help”. Did we want to buy carpets? Look here. Jewelry? Antiques? “Qu’est-ce que vous cherchez? Que buscas?” Perhaps through some specialized language book written specifically for Moroccan street peddlers, hordes of these of men have learned to be supremely annoying in English, French, Spanish, Italian, and German. A simple “non, merci” was laughably ineffective.

We tried keeping our sunglasses on and ignoring them. This only encouraged them further. “You are lost, yes? Musée de Marrakech tout droit. Which hotel you are looking for? Grand plaza? Español? Donde vas?” Actually, we were lost, but instead of asking for help Lou and I walked in endless loops through the tangled spaghetti of the souk market streets, no closer to our intended destination than Columbus was to India. Much more than the pocket change they would demand if we accepted their help, it was the cost of pride that I wasn't willing to pay. We would instead shuffle to a stop, discreetly pull out the map, and whisper, “Weren’t we just here 10 minutes ago?”

Yes, Marrakech is an exhausting place for the body, the mind, and the wallet. Luckily there is some respite – the riad. A riad, essentially a Moroccan B&B, is where you escape the chaos of the street into a quiet urban oasis. A decent riad will come equipped with, at a minimum, a peaceful, sunny inner courtyard for reading and enjoying endless cups of mint tea, as well as a cozy salon for the evenings of fireside chess…and more reading…and more tea. Our riad’s salon was decorated in something of an upscale opium den style which included dim lighting and leather pouf pillows for maximum relaxing after a hard day in the streets. Some include in-house hammam steam baths and gourmet kitchens, making it hard to find reasons to ever leave.

Your correspondent and companion were quite pleased that they had planned a spontaneous trip to North Africa which, thus far, had not contained any major disasters. However, we would not be content to stay in the comfort of the riad of the even the recent familiarity of Marrakech. A new adventure, in the direction of the Algerian border, loomed large.

Atentamente,
Your correspondent

Friday, December 12, 2008

La Alhambra

Dear Readers,

Two questions came to mind while marveling at the intricate carvings of the Alhambra, the 800-year-old Muslim palace in the hills of Southern Spain. First, I was curious to know how many men, if not generations of men, had labored to complete the sprawling walls of chiseled Arabic script and decorative patterns that coat nearly every surface of the edifice. The carvings were amazing…or perhaps humbling is the right word. Were entire human lives dedicated to this work and this work alone? The minute detail, high quality, and sheer quantity of the work suggested a change to the old adage. “If you want something done right, do it yourself – or have thousands of your servants and subjugates do it for you.”

The second question I had was this: How quickly would we be escorted out of the Alhambra if Lou vomited all over the palace's marble floors, as she seemed dangerously close to doing at that moment? Would we be rudely shown the door, having just defaced perhaps the greatest historical structure on the entire Iberian Peninsula? I wondered how many tourists, or generations of tourists, had puked on these same marble floors through the centuries after questionable seafood the previous night. Lou was now a worrisome shade of pale, but she forged ahead, jaw clenched, through each successive room determined to see and enjoy this unique masterpiece of art and architecture. I smiled preemptively to the guards and kept a plastic bag in my pocket at the ready.

As readers have probably guessed, your correspondent has yet again found a loophole in the rules of the real world to exploit for some carefree globe-trotting. This time, we made a slight enlargement to the annual visit to Lou’s family in France. Normally this visit lasts only about a week, but we hoped no one would notice if we tacked on another twenty days to allow for some exploration of Spain. And of course, some skiing in the Alps would be necessary too, provided there was decent snow on the pistes.

Before delving further into the trip at hand, some editorial housekeeping is necessary. Since the last bulletin, mucho has happened to your correspondent and companion. Travel-wise, I had the chance to return to Guatemala as well as to visit Paraguay, both for work, but time constraints prevented any meaningful communiqués to readers. And anyway, these trips consisted largely of suit clad conversations in hotel lobbies and this is not the kind of starched-stiff image I would want to project of your correspondent in the field. However, some mentionable highlights along the way include visiting Pablo Neruda's house on an unplanned 8-hour layover in Chile, and taking an endless bus ride through the Paraguayan Chaco, a land whose surreal landscape and torturous climate seems to be the product of collaboration between Dr. Seuss and the Marquis de Sade.

On the domestic front, still more news. Lou and I both resigned from our jobs in DC and have moved to St. Louis. That's in Missouri, by the way. A full explanation for this possibly surprising move is beyond the scope of this publication. But I will say that it has presented me with an excellent learning experience by way of employment in the "family business", something that has seemed increasingly exciting in recent years. For Lou it presents an opportunity to experience life in the US Midwest, which I imagine is something like an American trying escargot for the first time. It seems totally unappealing, yet so many people claim to love it, so you’re willing to give it a try at least once.

Back to Spain. The Spanish know what is important in life. Unlike some of their European neighbors to the north, they don't seem overly concerned with esoteric questions about the human condition or the nature of the soul. A Spaniard, evidently, is quite content with a cold beer, some cured ham, and some notes plucked from a nearby acoustic guitar. Your correspondent felt instantly at home in this environment. We have thus-far hopped from Barcelona to Granada to the small towns of the Andalucian sierra. In each locale we have found a mix of friendly people who are willing to repeat directions several times, tasty food served in portions that allow you to sample everything, and lively streets teeming with people enjoying their cities until the wee hours. Unlike many of the developing countries described in these annals, Spain needs no embellishment - it is indisputably awesome.
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It is currently rounding 8pm here. And while most Spaniards are still full from what they call lunch, your correspondent and companion are already hungry for dinner. So, we're off to wade through rows of hanging hams and trays of tapas and will report back shortly on noteworthy events whether cultural, gastronomical, gastro-intestinal, or otherwise.

Oh, are you still wondering how our Alhambra visit ended? You’ll be relieved to know that the marble palace floors escaped with only a few dusty footprints. In fact seeing Lou later that night, feeling so good she was indulging in a little sausage flambé, you’d never know how closely we had averted disaster.

Atentamente,
Your correspondent

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Beanland Diary - Lavender Scrub

Dear Readers,

"I'll have the full body massage with the lavender scrub and flower petal bath." Lou handed the menu, rice paper bound with bamboo, back to the attendant.

"And I'll take the same." I said, just trying to get this whole thing over with as quickly as possible.

The attendant was a diminutive Balinese woman with her hair pulled into a tight bun. In a tone that implied I should already know this, she said, "Not for man, lavender scrub. Better scrub for you cocoa mocha."

I nodded, thinking, "Indeed, the cocoa scrub does seem more masculine. Especially before I bathe in flower petals." Lady, any shred of manliness that I wanted to hold on to, I left at the door with my sandals.

I was on the verge of a mini identity crisis here in the waiting room of the Juma Spa and Rejuvenation Clinic. What had happened to your rough and rugged correspondent? Is he really a spa person? Was this not the same man who leaped from mountains in Kyrgyzstan? Who paddled the jungle rivers of Honduras? Who endured two years of cold bucket baths and single-ply toilet paper in the Peace Corps?

How did I end up here, about to spend several hours and a ridiculous amount of money in this spa? For the price of this activity I could get two bungee jumps just up the beach, or rent a surfboard for the entire week, and still plausibly claim to have testicles. I was just thankful that my high school wrestling coach could not see me now. The man he made from a boy had become...well, something else. He would be crushed.

So really, how did I end up here deciding between lavender and choco mocha? I think you know the answer already: The Jedi mind trick. This is a technique which Lou has mastered and performs on me at her will. For those of you who don't remember the Jedi mind trick from the Star Wars droid scene, it goes like this:

Lou: I was thinking we should go to the spa for a massage and oil treatment, what do you think?

Me: Actually, I was thinking we should eat fried squid and drink beer on the beach.

Lou [waving her open palm in front of my face]: You were thinking we should go to the spa.

Me: Spa, yes... I was thinking we should go to the spa.

And, here we are. We are led from the reception room into a small wood-paneled chamber where we are stripped down and placed face-first on a padded table. These tables have a hole for your head which forces you to stare down at the floor, where a glass dish has been placed below strategically to catch any falling drool that might escape you are worked to a pulp.

Mood music, with the ostensible goal of relaxing you further, is piped in on low volume and played on loop. The music is that ambiance stuff that you might expect out of a fancy Brookstone alarm clock. It reminded me of the sounds in a techno club song when the rhythm drops away and leaves you floating for a few bars amid cosmic echoes, Andean windpipes, etc. In the club, this gives the dancers a chance to take a slug of of their room-temperature cocktail, before the pounding beat returns. Here in the Juma Spa there was no pounding beat, unless you count the fists of an 85-pound Indonesian woman raining down on my lower back.

During the next hour I was rinsed, scrubbed, salted, rubbed, kneaded, cracked, bent, stretched, and slathered with oil. I felt like a piece of cheap meat being prepped for a cutlet recipe. All that was missing was a little minced garlic, pepper, and flour. Then it was dessert time, and I was spread with a thick layer of choco mocha paste and left to dry. Perhaps accustomed to smoother Asian men, the masseuse accidentally got the paste caked in my armpit hair and had to pick it out crumb by crumb. Awkward! During all this, it took all my earthly willpower not bust out laughing, or crying, or both.

I sat up slowly and looked to my right. Lou was on the adjacent table with a wide smile on her face. "Mmmm. That was nice."

I hated to admit it, but yes, she was right. It was nice. I felt incredibly relaxed. I had enjoyed the spa. I enjoyed taking a scented bath amid floating flower petals. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the music and incense and perfectly regulated temperature. I enjoyed having the stress knots from the March marathon and the May wedding forcibly wrung out of me. I even enjoyed the tangerine ginger extract shot they gave us for skin exfoliation or digestive enlightenment or whatever it was for. All in all, a highly recommendable experience.

I had to admit also that no number of push-ups, pull-ups, stair sets, or sprints could ever redeem me in the eyes of my wrestling coach. I was a lost cause. Sorry, coach. I'll hit the showers and hang up my singlet. By the way, could we possibly get some scented soap for the locker room?

Atentamente,
Your correspondent